Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
