Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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