Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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