whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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