Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
