Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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