Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I wish i was in the wii world.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
