his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
