I will die if light touches me.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
