he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
