Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
