Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
