Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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