wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
