Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
