so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
