there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
