he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
