Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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