Define "chronic" masturbator.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
