you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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