college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
