I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
