is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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