I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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