Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
