it was like his penis was on wheels.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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