alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
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