so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
