gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
