Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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