Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
