Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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