I hate all girls vehemently.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
