I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
