Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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