Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
