I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Randomize
