I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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