did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
