i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
