I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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