suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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