That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
