Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
