I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
