How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
