I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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