are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
