This is not my ceiling
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
